The Barn Dance

After the Christmas party tonight I was convinced by my sister and (older) cousin Renae to go along with them to The Barn, a local bar, to go line dancing. I was not too excited about the idea but went along anyway. Soon after getting in I realized I was in over my head as 1- a lot of these people were intense...all cowboy-ed up and doing some pretty fast and therefore un-mimicable dances...and 2- such ventures are always enhanced by alcohol and I had no intention of drinking.

After being there for just five minutes it was suddenly time for 'the barn dance'. As this was a partners dance I walked out on the floor with Renae, who knew it and began teaching me as everyone else was being taught and getting ready. We were set up with the couples making a circle with the guys in the middle and the girls on the outside. I soon realized that this was one of those 'dance with everyone' dances, which I was completely not prepared for. It was a simple step, but very chaotic since we were in a rather small space. The following are some of the thigns that went through my head as I made my way around the circle of probably two dozen women.

"Woah...little too much to drink"
"You're not supposed to be leading"
"next. NEXT."
"Hm, you're six inches taller than me....this is slightly awkward ...but it's awkward because it shows that you realize it's awkward..."
"hmmm...hello...can I have more than 8 measures please? ...let's just not move to the next person"
"You've done this same 32 beat step eight dozen times now....it's not that hard...get it right!?"
"this is way to crowded...I bet there are guys out here just so they can 'accidently' bump in to people"
"where's Renae...? must get back to Renae!"
"you're 40 years old...moving your hips like that isn't going to impress me"
"this is not MTV grind...back away"
"oh no...they're playing the song a second time"